Dreaming big and working towards goals is great. But what happens when our ego takes over and all we can think about is when? When will I get an agent? When will I be published?
What happens when anxiety sets in and all we can this about is why? Why am I being rejected? Why am I not good enough?
Ultimately thinking like this will result in doubt and a feeling of failure.
Stop!!!
Take a moment to remember why you started writing in the first place. What do you enjoy about writing? I’m sure no one wrote their first flash fiction or poetic prose with an endgame in site. We did it for fun, for passion, for joy.
Don’t let your aspirations stifle that wonderful energy. While our dreams as authors may be similar, our paths and unique abilities never are.
Allow the ego to set daily intensions: Maybe to hit a word count. Perhaps edit a chapter. Or learn how to use a particular social media. But don’t let it plot, plan and pinpoint every turn in your future. That will lead to disharmony and stress, because nothing is for certain.
What we can take control of is this moment. So relax and enjoy the process. Choose to enjoy your family, saviour the dog walk or curl up on the sofa and read. Realise that life is good now, it’s the only time that truly matters.
Do you struggle with waiting for the outcome? Maybe you’ve wrestle with desire and a feeling of being imcomplete.
How do you deal with those emotions? Please share your journey with me, you know I love to hear from you.
Until next time, Much Love xx
Lorraine Ambers 
This was a perfect timing post. I swear you read my mind. I’ve had a bad month to say the least and your post is a breath of fresh air.
Thanking you is not enough but it’s the best I can do.
Thank you.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Ooh, you’re welcome and your not alone. I’ve struggled with this issue. So I wanted to pass on the tips that have helped me overcome them.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I enjoy your posts so much. They serve as a great reminder of why I love writing and why I’m doing this when things get stressful or I put too much pressure on myself. Thank you!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you 💕 It’s easy to become bogged down with doubt and stress. I hope I can help my fellow writers overcome these trials.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nice tips .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Rita
LikeLike
Tenacity and a schedule are, to me, the most important things a writer needs.
While I was writing my debut novel, I used whatever spare time I could find. And I got little accomplished.
When I had surgery to repair a torn bicep tendon I was off work for ten weeks. I couldn’t use my right arm to lift anything, but I would type. I watched tv in the morning but from noon til dinnertime was writing time. I wrote the last half of my novel in those ten weeks while the first half only took about six years.
When you’re ready to submit to agents, prepare for frustration. Half of the agents won’t reply at all when they reject your query. The other half give you a rubber stamp rejection, “This isn’t the right work for me, but keep trying.” Neither response lets you know what problems you need to correct.
I was fortunate enough to find a very good editor on the website Scribophile. Normally an edit on a 90,000-word manuscript would cost a thousand dollars or more, but I got it for free. But by that time, after 30 rejections, I had already decided to self-publish.
Time will tell if I’m taking the right path or not.
LikeLike
There’s no doubt that setting realistic goals will enable us to accomplish great things. But when the going gets tough, it’s our passion that allows us to persevere.
Having surgery is difficult, and yet you accomplished great things during that time. Well done!
LikeLike
I struggle for time but I have goals and really love those rare occasions where I can get stuck in. 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
I love this post! Such a powerful message. Sometimes I get really caught up in thinking about when my book will be published, or when I have an agent, or when I finish this draft. . . that I forget to enjoy the moment. I enjoy writing regardless of my external situations (like a publishing deal or agent) and it’s really important to remember that my passion doesn’t depend on “success.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes! And you’re not alone with your struggles. I constantly have to adjust my way of thinking.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I haven’t yet “finished” my WIPs and thus reached the point of attempting to submit them to anyone. Thinking about all that can be stressful, and is not at all helpful at this stage. I just try to take things one step at a time. Right now, I simply enjoy working away at my writing and inching closer to a product I’m proud of – and that’s enough for me!! Thanks for the excellent post 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such an encouraging post, Lorraine. And it’s all true! It’s so easy to get bogged down in self-doubt, especially coming off a string of rejections. I love your tips for getting past that stage.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Kate. It’s been over a year in the query trenches, I feel like an expert in rejection. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
THANK YOU! This post came at the right time today (mostly any day really)!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome. I glad I could spread a little positivity.
LikeLike
Always tough to balance ambition with patience. Even harder is a creative field with no guaranteed pay-back. We are all a bit crazy, aren’t we?
LikeLiked by 2 people
It is a tough balance. I think what deem as a little crazy is in fact our unique way of understanding the world.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your advice. I feel that this is the same advice for life in general. We must embrace and enjoy the journey. Peace and Blessings
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re right Craig. After all, all things are connected. Thanks for stopping by. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on and commented:
Good thought for all our journeys – not just for those of us who write.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Pearl. 💙💙💙 I hope you have a wonderful day.
LikeLike
I definitely struggle with the desire to break through, though I think a lot of it is rooted in wanting to spend more time on writing. I can be at work, earning a good paycheck (and insurance) and feel like I’m wasting time that could be spent writing. I feel like there are so many stories I want to write, in no small part because I can read them, but my writing process is slow, and in many cases I feel like “some stories” need me to become more proficient before I attempt them. Of course I’m always working on a story, but I digress.
I think there is definitely a part of me that yearns for that more formal “seal of approval” which so many writers talk about.
I remember listening to Neil Gaiman once speak on how people would approach him and ask him about the “secret” to being a writer. He would of course weave a fantastically elaborate tale of seeds gathered and nurtured, until they sprout into a great plant, and the fruit that it bears, and the birds that feed on it, and at the end of the entire tale he would say “Or you can just sit down and start putting words on paper.”
But I think there is a way in which, regardless of what words people use, there’s an underlying idea that something separates “them” from us, and a desperate desire to become “one of them”, though I think even “they” struggle with the same doubts.
Actually, there was another story from Neil Gaiman where he talked about going to events with very prominent individuals, and feeling like he didn’t belong, and encountering another Neil, who was an astronaut, and yet he also struggled with similar insecurities.
At a certain point I think that “doubt” and “drive” may be a necessary part of the process, even as we sometimes need to stop and take a break from it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved reading this, thank you for your wonderful comments as it’s very well timed. I’m having a batch of writers doubt at the moment. But thanks to this wonderful community of writers I’m able to accept it graciously as part of the process. I’ll have a little rest and then jump back into action.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Happy to help. It is always most heartening to hear that one was able to help, and to be reminded that others’ experiences are similar to my own. Thank you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: Perseverance in your Dream – Lorraine Ambers
Pingback: Ten Steps… Stop Daydreaming and Start Growing your Business – Lorraine Ambers
Pingback: 7 Writing tips by Lorraine Ambers – Lorraine Ambers